Why You Shouldn’t Strive for Perfection

  By admin | May 18, 2013 - 12:31 pm | , , , , ,
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perfection

perfection

A course I went through recently had an interesting twist on a standard approach toward teaching. For each attempt we made at writing a paper or article, the instructions were as follows:

  1. Write something that is just “so-so”
  2. Do some research or get some feedback from a mentor or a teacher
  3. Try again to make it better.

The course argued that just following these simple steps would take the fear and paralysis out of writing that stops most students from being able to write well. I think this is an excellent way to approach any new skill you want to learn.

Seeking perfection is a sure way to meet with failure; you can never achieve “perfect” anything because when you’re learning, you won’t get there right away and when you’re a pro, you inevitably see how much more there is to learn. Instead you should strive to improve. Incremental improvement is a much better goal.

The beauty of this strategy is three-fold:

1.When you work toward making something just “so-so,” it takes all the anxiety and fear out of the experience. Learning a new skill can be so frustrating. Let’s take bread baking, for instance. If you want to learn to bake bread but you have never done it before, you will be overwhelmed with the amount of advice, the variety of ingredients, and the terminology you will encounter. It’s all enough to make you want to pack up and go home. If you have visions of a perfect loaf of bread in your head, with a lovely brown, crackly crust and luscious chewy inside, you will surely be disappointed after your first try. You will think, “How can anyone ever manage to do this properly?”

 

But if you instead admit to yourself that your first loaf probably won’t win any prizes but that you’re going to try anyway, you are setting the bar for initial success much lower. It’s attainable to make an “OK” loaf of bread. Maybe the first couple won’t be edible, maybe they will be disasters, in fact, but that’s alright, because you didn’t expect a whole lot at the beginning. Each time you will learn something else that will help you improve.

 

You make adjustments along the way, hopefully get some good bread-baking advice from a friend or a good cookbook, and after a few more tries, your bread is getting better. You’re seeing progress!

 

2.Once you’re not worried about failing, you can concentrate on your task. Strangely, it’s only when you’re not afraid of failing, that you can have the confidence to take a risk and try something new. It’s at this point that you have the highest probability of seeing some success. If everything is on the line, it’s much, much harder to take a risk.

3.As you work toward step #3, “make it better,” you are acknowledging that there’s plenty to learn. True experts (of bread-baking or just about anything else) will always be honing their craft, looking to learn more and produce a better product, or give a better performance. By working toward continued improvement, you set yourself up for greatness.

 

What’s so bad about perfection?

Of course there will be plenty of times when you do achieve a level that you are satisfied with. You can make a “perfect” loaf of bread, play that piano piece exceptionally well, or write the “perfect” sales letter. There’s nothing wrong with that. The key is not to make perfection your goal at the outset. And if the skill is something that is central to your life, you probably will find that you need to be continually learning and growing in that area.

 

In summary:

  1. In learning a new skill, don’t focus on perfection.
  2. Make your goal to produce something “ok”, then get some help, and then make improvements.
  3. Rinse and repeat until you are satisfied.

I do know how to make what I consider a pretty darn good loaf of bread. I’ve gotten as far as I wish to go in this area. But I’m glad I know not to focus on perfection when I’m tackling other new skills. It takes off a lot of the pressure and frees me up to focus on learning.

Do you think focusing on perfection when learning is a recipe for failure?

Sarah Mueller is a busy mom to 4 boys and blogs at Early Bird Mom about how to increase productivity at home and in home business.

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3 Effortless Ways to Get More Done

  By admin | May 17, 2013 - 5:32 pm | , , ,
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productivity tips

productivity tips

Do you ever wonder how on some days you seem to get so much accomplished, while on others, you barely get a few things checked off your to-do list?

I recently noticed how on Saturday’s, I get so much done. I’m like a blur… everything from cleaning the house, running errands, grocery shopping, getting some reading and writing in, a little shopping at the mall, and a nice dinner with my hubby.

It got me thinking… what is it about Saturday’s? After all, it’s a day that has the same 24 hours as the other days of the week.

Could it be I’m feeling a little more relaxed after a busy week that is scheduled down to the minute.

What did I do differently on Saturday’s that I could apply to my weekly schedule to get more done in less amount of time. I started taking note of everything I did and here are my top three ways to get more done, effortlessly, any day of the week!

1. It’s the Time of Day!

I’m one of those people who is full of energy in the morning and ready to make things happen, so I start off by knocking out my least favorite things first, like cleaning the house.

During the week, I find like most people, checking email is my least favorite thing to do. So what do I do when I first hit my office? That is right.  I check my email and handle anything that needs to be taken care of.

One great thing about doing the things you like the least first, is that it eliminates dread and procrastination, which saves you time and energy. How awesome is that!

2. Focus, Focus, Focus!

On Saturday’s, I check my phone first thing, then I put it up until I have everything around the house done. I love having a smart phone that allows to me check my email, all my social media feeds, text family and friends, video chat and talk, but it’s not too smart if starts taking up your time, instead of saving you time.

I follow this same rule while in the office. I check voicemails, emails and social media at certain times of the day, then I close them out and get busy.  This  allows me to get my work done faster and more efficiently, while not getting distracted.

 

 

 

3. Play Some Music!

Music energizes me. My favorites are rock n’ roll and disco. So on Saturday’s after catching up on the news, I shut off the TV, turn on my Sirius Satellite radio and tune into my favorite stations, then I get started on my to-do list. It’s just amazing how much faster you get things done when you’re jamming out to your favorite songs.

While in the office,  when I’m not coaching one of my amazing clients, I also listen to my favorite tunes. I used to be a fan of talk radio, but I noticed that it was actually distracting at times.

These are just three ways I found to easily be more productive during my week.  How could you be more productive?

When you have those days where you go… “wow, I got a lot done today”… start writing down what you did during the day and at what times. And then do the same for the days were you feel like you just didn’t get anything done.

I bet you will start to notice a pattern of ways, you too, can effortlessly get more done… any day of the week.

You can find Julie Barnes at ClaimYourShine.com.  After experiencing a devastating tragedy, Julie learned how to move beyond her grief and into a brighter future.  If you are hurting but ready for your breakthrough, join Julie in Finding Your Phoenix.

 

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10 Reasons Why You’re Lovable

  By admin | May 16, 2013 - 7:16 pm | , , , , , ,
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self love

self love“Where there is love there is life.”~ Mahatma Gandhi 

Sometimes you may forget and believe you are not good enough.

You may not even realize it, but someone else see’s all the amazing things about you and why you are so loveable. So let this be a reminder of how truly magnificent you are … just because you’re YOU.

Your smile

    ~ I don’t care if your teeth aren’t perfectly straight or gleaming white. To me, when you smile and it reaches your eyes which twinkle with delight you show me who you truly are. It’s as though you really see me and you’re offering me a little parcel of your heart.

Your capacity to love

    ~ even though you have felt great pain and hurt, and have at times wanted the world to just swallow you up to stop your heartbreak, and although you sometimes try your hardest to hide it, you just can’t stop loving. It’s who you are. Even though it may take you a little time, you always return to wanting to share love in your life.

Your courage

    ~ you say you’re scared, and sometimes the world seems too big. It can be such a struggle to get out of bed in the morning and you just want to curl up in a ball, but every day you somehow find the strength to carry on and face it with such courage. You take small steps to love those around you, care for yourself and find pleasure in the smallest things; these things all add up to greatness.

Your creativity

        ~ you manage to express how you feel and who you are in so many wondrous ways, sometimes even without words. What astounds me is your clever creativity to hide from and avoid those things you are not ready for; it really does take such great skill. I wonder what you could do if you put all that skill and energy into doing what you do want?

 

How playful you truly are

    ~ although you may sometimes forget and need reminding now and then, I’ve seen you let your hair down. When you let yourself forget what others think, I watch you transform into the young girl or boy you once were, alight with laughter, teasing and silliness. Just give you the chance to spend time with a young child and you’ll be right beside them in make-believe, creating magic lands with Lego in your princess dress, or wielding a hero’s sword, or creating magic with a simple ball.

How come you never get bored of learning?

    Every day you learn something new. It may only be something small, but where do you store all this information? Just when I don’t think you could remember any more, you amaze me by learning to play the piano, taking up a martial art, learning to dance or speak a new language; anything that entertains you. You seem to get most excited when the challenge ahead seems a little daunting.

Your compassionate nature

    ~ even though you’ve been busy working hard and have been stressed at work, somehow when I least expect it, you reach out to help another person who may be suffering and in need. Not only do you donate your hard-earned money to people, but when your neighbour, or friend is sad or wounded by grief, you give them your time and compassion by offering a cup of tea, a listening ear, or warm arms to comfort.

You never stop growing

    ~ although I sometimes see you struggle and want to resist the changing tides of life, I am truly amazed at how you learn to adapt and grow with each ebb and flow to become a little stronger and more confident in who you are. Even though it may take a little while, you always choose to let go of who you were before and grow into who you are today.

Your passion and desire are so attractive

    ~ when all is said and done, I have to tell you how sexy you are: the way you use your whole body to feel the world around you and enjoy the small pleasures of each day; the way you express your soul and what you hold in your heart through your words, actions and energy. It gives me joy to see you on fire with your passion for living and being YOU.

Your sense of humour keeps you sane

    ~ you can see the funny side of life and its ups and downs. You manage to make light of situations that could easily drive you mad. Negative things happen in your life, but somehow you shake them off and laugh your way through. Your laughter is infectious and lifts the mood of those around you, so they don’t take themselves or life so seriously. Please never stop laughing or seeing the humour in the beautiful ridiculousness of life.

 

*********************************************

Jo Warwick: Writer, therapist, healer and believer in the magic of Life…

Do you want to fall in love with life again? Rediscover how to bring freedom, fun, joy and love back into your life; www.rediscoverthemagic.com : Download for FREE the guest expert interview collection, or the ‘Seven Simple Steps For Overcoming Fear’

 

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How to Find a New Reason to Live When the Meaning of Your Life Has Died

  By admin | May 16, 2013 - 12:29 am | , , , , ,
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self improvement

self improvement

When death makes its entrance

Here’s how it happens: You live your life in dedication to your partner or to your child or to what you believe is your life’s work, day by day, with the usual ups and downs that are part of it all.

Then suddenly the one you have dedicated yourself to is gone forever, and your life falls apart.

It is beyond comprehension. The pain is excruciating, and all you can do is just try to survive it and to cope with it somehow. Your friends, family and neighbors come to help.

But then, after a while, because they can’t bear to see so much suffering, they start pushing you, ever so gently (and sometimes not so gently):  “It’s time to move on,” they say, “You need you start doing something with your life.”

Do something? Move on?

How are you supposed to do anything when you have lost your very reason to live? That’s the question – and it leaves you without answers.

Well, I’m here today to show you that your situation is not as hopeless as it feels, and that answers can be found after all.

The thing is that under the kind of of emotional, mental and practical strain that you’re experiencing, it’s nearly impossible to see the real reason why your loss led you to meaninglessness.

It’s not only because the death of your loved one appears meaningless in itself.

It’s also because the relationship with your partner constituted the very meaning of your life.

Your love was what you lived for

So now that your life together is over there’s nowhere you want to go. There’s nothing you want to do. You are trapped in a meaningless void.

I’ve been there. I know how you feel, and I respect you and your feelings deeply. And yet, from a perspective of time and experience, it all looks differently. Here’s how I see it:

Your life’s true purpose is still here

Even if you cannot feel it right now, your life’s true purpose is more powerful than you can imagine. You can never lose it. It is here, and it is waiting for you to find it when the time is right.

Perhaps you have felt it already, like a yearning. Perhaps you have tried to find a purpose and a meaning by reading and thinking about it, by searching your past and your soul. Perhaps you even gained a general idea of what it is – or maybe not. In any case, an idea is not enough.

Your purpose, the meaning of your life and your ultimate reason to live is not an idea. It is more like life itself:

It is something that resides in every cell of your body. It’s in the way you feel and think. It’s in your soul. It is such a natural part of you that you cannot even see it.

Discovering your purpose

I’ve seen this too many times to count, in my life and in the lives of students and clients, friends and strangers who spend years searching for a purpose. In spite of their efforts, their search doesn’t bring them what they were longing for. Or at least not in any permanent way. The pain and the void keep reappearing.

Eventually they give up the search itself. They surrender and accept that there is nothing they can do but be who they are and be willing to love themselves exactly as they are, for good and for worse.

Interestingly, it is in surrendering this way that they do find their purpose. It stops being elusive and becomes immediately apparent, in an instinctive sort of way. You just know. There’s no doubt.

This is the general experience:

Being your authentic unedited self – seeing yourself for who you are and loving it – equals knowing what you’re here for.

Becoming and loving your authentic self unconditionally sounds like a big thing – and it is. But then again, you can do it one tiny step at a time – and that makes it fairly simple.

Here’s how to become yourself and find your purpose (and how not to)

Start with being kind to yourself.

Please notice that your first step is not finding a reason to live. Your first step is not moving on. Your first step is not “doing something with your life”.

Your first step is just to start practicing simple acts of kindness toward yourself.

Do these in a similar way that you would with your loved one.

Maintain simple, daily rituals, such as meals or walks.

Listen to your needs and fulfill them the best you can.

Ask yourself in the morning: “How can I be kind to myself today?”

Thank yourself in the evening for having been there for you.

Do it day by day and over time you will see how your care and your love for yourself will start filling that inner void, bit by bit.

As it does you will not only find a new reason to live, but also a fundamental sense of safety, empowerment and joy.

———-

Halina Goldstein is a mentor, teacher and writer living in Denmark and supporting widows around the world on their way from grief to growth. Halina’s gift for readers of PickTheBrain is the “Guide to Peaceful Evenings.” The guide will take you by the hand and show you three specific ways to be kind to yourself and learn to cope with loneliness.  

 

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3 Secret Techniques To Build Self Confidence

  By admin | May 14, 2013 - 5:27 pm | , , ,
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confidence

confidenceIntroduction

These 3 exercises that I am sharing with you today get to the core of low confidence and low self-esteem. Unlike other superficial techniques, they increase your confidence in a deep and lasting way. As you might expect, these ways are not a “magic bullet”, but will require some work and persistence to see results. If you want to build deep and lasting confidence, you might consider working with a life coach.

The first two techniques I describe here are great ways to discover and remove the negative thoughts about yourself that are dragging your confidence down. The last technique is a great way to bring your confidence up by creating new beliefs about yourself. See how they work in harmony with each other.

1. Increase Your Self-Awareness

Whether you know it or not, there is a constant internal dialogue going on in the back of your mind. There’s a voice in your head, and it might be saying things like, “You can’t do it”, or “You’re not good enough,” or “You don’t deserve it.” As my life coaches remind me, most of us are unaware of what our “monkey mind” is saying to us and about us.

To get a better grasp on what that little voice is saying, you’ll need to start listening to it. The two best ways to do this are:

  • meditate and listen to what your inner critic is telling you
  • write those thoughts down in your journal

As you gain more awareness of what your inner critic is saying, you’ll notice that the voice may quiet down and go away, or it may even intensify (because now you’re hearing it more). Either way, you’re now more aware of it. From here, you (or the life coach you’re working with) can question whether these thoughts are true, challenge them, and work with them to let them go.

2. What You Don’t Like About Yourself

Now you’re going to start writing in your journal, a word document, or on a piece of paper.

Make a list of all of the things that you don’t like about yourself. It can be about anything: the way you look, the way you talk, the way you act, write it all down. After you’ve written down your list, slowly go through each item on the list and forgive yourself for each “flaw” or aspect of yourself that you don’t like. See if you can accept this aspect of yourself.

I can’t stress enough the importance of doing this deep and sensitive work with patience, love, and acceptance. Bring an attitude of understanding and most importantly, acceptance. As you go through the list, ask yourself some questions like, “Can I accept this aspect of myself?” and “What would it take for me to accept and love this part of myself?”

3. Reasons Why You’re Great

My favorite way to tackle low self-confidence was introduced to me by a life coach in Atlanta.

First, consider in what way or in what aspect that you’re not feeling confident. Maybe it’s socializing at a party, talking to a love interest, or applying for a job. Or maybe it’s just how you feel about yourself — for instance, how you look, your personality, or something you don’t like about yourself.

Again, we’re going to write in your journal, on your computer, or on a piece of paper. At the top, write “5 Reasons Why I…” and fill in the desired outcome. For instance, “5 Reasons Why I Am Good at Socializing”.

Now list all of the reasons that come to mind. Ask yourself, “Why am I good at socializing?” Perhaps you’re good at making people laugh, or you can bring up interesting topics to talk about. Maybe you have a knack for asking good questions, or you have a really good friend who you can just be yourself with.

Write a fresh list of your 5 reasons every day. Then start doing 10. You might keep coming up with the same answers, or even find new ones. You’ll probably be surprised at some of the reasons you come up with.

Leave a Comment

What are you feeling unconfident about?

Did you try out one of these exercises? How did it work?

What’s your favorite way to increase your confidence?

Tom Casano is the creator of Life Coach Spotter. Life Coach Spotter is a place to learn about life coaching and how to get what you really want out of life. Subscribe to our blog to learn from professional life coaches how to live your dreams.

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8 Effortless Actions You Can Take Right Now To Live A Better Life

  By admin | May 14, 2013 - 12:06 am | , , , ,
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live well

live well

Let’s face it.

Personal growth is hard. At least, the type of personal growth you want to last is hard (which is the only kind that matters).

If you’ve been on the self-improvement journey for any amount of time, you know how much reflection, self-discovery, and learning there is to be done. Then, when you’ve reached the end you find a whole set of new and exciting issues to address.

Are there any steps you can take towards a better life that don’t involve hours inside your head followed by meditation (and possibly medication)? Not to mention the boxes upon boxes of tissue paper you go through, making the cashiers your local Walmart speculate on all the reasons one person would need so many boxes of tissues.

In all seriousness, it feels like a long, hard, arduous journey. But, although it doesn’t come easily, it also doesn’t always have to be an all-consuming self-improvement program.

In fact, there are simple actions you can take that will make you feel better almost immediately. And the best news: they don’t require any tissue paper at all.

1.) Interact With Humans

I continue to marvel at our ability to spend 14 hours a day in front of a screen without suffering any permanent damage to our capacity to interact socially with our fellow man.

It’s not right to spend so much time removed from human interaction. This is especially true for people that work from home.

It’s entirely possible to not leave your house for 2 weeks. What with video chat and internet, why would you need to?

Electronic communication is not a substitute for being next to a living breathing human being.

2.) Always Try Your Best

You’ll feel better for it and you’ll always over-deliver.

If you can’t try your best then maybe you shouldn’t be doing it at all.

3.) Keep Your Word

I’ve talked in length about how your self-esteem is the reputation you have within yourself. Not keeping your word destroys this reputation and destroys your self-esteem.

This applies to promises you make to others and to yourself.

It’s just as important, if not more important, to keep promises you make to yourself. When you don’t you stop trusting yourself. You stop believing in yourself.

After that it’s not hard to go from ‘my words mean nothing’ to ‘I mean nothing’ and then to ‘I am nothing.’

4.) Do One Nice Thing Every Day

Most of us are nice people, but we just feel like we don’t have time to express it.

So think of one really nice thing you can do for someone you like. How can you make that person smile? How can you make their day? What can you do that’s easy for you but hard for them?

It doesn’t need to be random. It doesn’t need to be unexpected. It just needs to be genuine.

5.) Look People In The Eye

Not looking someone in the eye is synonymous to outright saying that you don’t have any self-confidence.

Even if you don’t feel confident, even if you’re intimidated, look them in the eye.

Now, with that said, don’t initiate a staring contest with everyone you meet. Just meet their eye at least 50% of the time in conversation and watch how much better you feel about yourself.

6.) Smile

A smile can transcend any cultural, racial, religious, and societal differences.

It will make you and everyone around you feel better. The simple act of smiling will elicit happy emotions within you.

So smile, even when you want to frown.

7.) Eat Real Food

I can’t be sure when we as human beings decided it was ok to stop eating real food but, just in case you were on the fence about this one, it’s not ok.

A carrot is not just a combination of carbohydrates, proteins, water, etc. It’s a carrot!

There shouldn’t be any extraneous chemicals in the carrot. It shouldn’t look like it came from Mars. And it should taste like a carrot.

Do you know what a carrot tastes like? Are you sure?

8.) Be The First to Apologize

Apologizing first is a thousand times more satisfying than having the last laugh.

If you do even one of the above on a consistent basis, you’ll start feeling like a panda in a tree in no time. Gone will be the days where you stare off in the distance in awe of how you made it this far in life with all of the mental baggage you’ve carried around. Here are the days where you stare off in the distance and actually see the sky and look upon it in awe of its vastness.

As tears form in the corners of your eyes you’ll curse because, alas, you’ve no more tissue paper. There are worse problems to have.

****************************

Liz is a corporate dropout turned lifestyle designer and pithy personal development blogger. To find out more, go to her blog at A Life on Your Terms and download her member-only Life Lovers Guide to the Galaxy. You can also find her on twitter at @elizabethseda.

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The Gift of Jealousy

  By admin | May 12, 2013 - 12:09 am | , , , , ,
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relationships

relationships“To cure jealousy is to see it for what it is: a dissatisfaction of self.  – Joan Didion

You feel all flow immediately blocked.

Instead of acting from your authentic self or true self, you are reacting to an external happening.

There’s no mistaken this shift.  It’s as though your inside went from light to dark.

Your eyes darken and take on an unmistakable glare.

A heated tightness takes over your face.

Your breath shortens and you feel an unmistakable grip.

Everything has somehow funneled into the tight hold of one powerful emotion and you are at its mercy.

A destructive emotion

I know the above scenario because it has played out in my life on more than one occasion.

Of all the emotions I’ve felt, I think jealousy can be one of the trickiest and most powerfully destructive emotions of them all.

I wouldn’t say that I was an overly jealous person but when it happened it was such a strong sensation that it often left me feeling like I’d been attacked by something that did not have my best interests at heart.

It (jealousy) was so concerned with the dazzle of something beyond me that it would show up and take over.

Its focus was something someone else had that was perceived as so wonderful that it threw me into a state that made me feel awful.

Think about that for a moment.

Perception of something wonderful outside equals powerfully awful feeling inside.

How profoundly dumb is it to go down that road?

And yet, at times.

You, me, and Shakespeare’s Othello have let it get the best of us.

I was determined to control this destructive emotion and began to think of  jealousy as anti spirit, anti health and anti growth.  I thought I could completely eliminate it from my life.

How jealousy can be a gift and help you grow

Even though I took that stance and was able to limit its occurrence, I still experience being jealous once in a while.

As I said, jealousy is tricky and sneaks up on you regardless of your best efforts.

But I did notice a change the few times I continued to experienced it.

I noticed that now  my jealousy seemed to be in reaction to things that were significant.  It was no longer a reaction to material or superficial things.

I began to realize that the jealousy that I now experienced was actually a gift because it was forcing me to pay attention to something that was really important to me.

My jealousy was a signpost pointing towards an area of my life that I was limiting myself in.

The following personal story is one of several that taught me how jealousy can be a gift.

One day I got a call from a friend announcing her pregnancy.

Great news!  A new mom, a new life, right?

Well, yeah, sort of.  While I was happy for her, the happiness was quickly replaced by the overwhelming presence of jealousy that set up camp smack dab in my chest.

I was frustrated and disappointed by my reaction.

This led me to lean into the jealousy and follow it.

I started to ask myself some key questions.

Why did I have this reaction?

What is it pointing to?

What could I do to address it personally so I could shift the focus back to the happy announcement?

After I pondered these questions and did some soul searching, I realized that I wanted to have a baby but had been pushing that desire beneath the surface and not acknowledging it because the timing wasn’t right.

Although I wasn’t consciously aware of the depth of this desire, it surfaced in the form of jealousy when I heard the announcement.

My jealous reaction was so powerful that it pointed me towards a desire held beneath the surface of my awareness.  Ultimately this awareness led to my own pregnancy and a beautiful baby.   To this day, I am thankful to my jealous reaction because it forced me to wake up.  In that situation jealousy really did have my best interests at heart.

Here are five questions that I ask myself when I have a jealous reaction:

5 questions to ask to find the hidden gift in your jealous reaction

-Why did I have such a powerfully jealous reaction?

-What is this jealous reaction pointing to? Am I not aware of a hidden desire?

-Is the object of my jealousy something I am willing to concentrate on and work for or is it just a momentary want triggered by an outside source?

-What steps can I take to remove blocks and grow towards manifesting this desire?

-How can I manage this reaction and shift the experience from destructive to constructive.

Jealousy can be powerfully destructive but it also can be a gift.

The next time you experience a jealous reaction be sure to ask the powerful questions necessary for finding the hidden gift in your jealous reaction.

Sheila McCann is the creator of the Rainbow Framework a universal framework for life, love, wealth, creativity.  One look and you’ll get life in a big way.  Pop on over and get your free rainbow framework e-book and visual.

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15 Simple Ways to Put Meaning Back into Your Life

  By admin | May 11, 2013 - 12:08 am | , , , , , ,
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meaning of life

meaning of lifeWhat is the meaning of life?

That’s for you to decide, you get to choose.

Instead of going through life without meaning only struggling to survive, stop along the way and begin to notice things around you, begin doing things because you want to do them not because you have to.

Here are some possibilities of things you can do to give your life meaning, or even simply get you started on a new journey.

Be Happy

Being happy is a choice it come from the inside out, you don’t need to be happy because of a certain outcome or something you have received but be happy because you are alive. It takes practice believe me, but you can learn to be happy each day by simply being grateful.

Show Up

How are you showing up each day? Are you just letting life happen or are you creating life and taking action on the things that will make your life the way you want it to be? Think about it.

Follow your heart

Do what you love to do and do it often. What feels right to you IS right for you.

Find a new perspective

Begin to look at things differently. Is what you have previously being told and taught the truth? Question everything, that’s what I say take the frame away from what you see and change the perspective, this alone could change your life!

Have a sense of wonder

Children are the classic example they ‘wonder’ about everything. The ask lots of questions and want to know why. If they don’t like the answer they make their own ideas up about something.

Find people you love

People you look up to people who share the same passions, ideas and hobbies as you. This could simply be your friends. Plan to spend some time with them and do something.

Set goals

“He who fails to plan, plans to fail” ~ Winston Churchill

Where are you heading in life? Are you drifting with the rest of the world? At the very least have some Idea what you want to achieve.

 

Help others

Do for others what you want for yourself.

Helping someone else will give you a feeling of satisfaction and worthiness. Besides we all could do with a helping hand at times. Be that person.

Dance

OFTEN.

Pamper yourself

When was the last time you went all out on yourself? I’m not talking about while you was on holiday. I’m talking about doing something tonight. OK you don’t have to go all out but do one thing today that even mildly represents a form of pampering. You will be glad that you did.

Face your fears

Easier said than done, I know, but I’m hoping to give you some inspiration. Here goes.

Just DO IT Already!!!!! One way to overcome something is to do it.

Go to a museum

Get out and about go do something. Learn something new, something you didn’t know before. When was the last time you went to a museum, with school?

Exercise

You may have heard it said before that exercise releases ‘happy hormones’ that reduce stress. Exercise is a way to keep fit and healthy lengthening your life span. It doesn’t have to be ‘at the gym’ you could go for a walk, jog, ride a bike or even by using the stairs in your house!

Limit TV

Find something else to do. Read a book. Play a game with your children. Get creative. Have sex. Use the time you would normally watch TV to start a business or grow the one you already have.

Get in touch with nature

Take a walk, go to the park. Listen to the birds in the morning, look at the flowers, trees and the abundance that is all around us.

You don’t need to do all of these to experience life you only need to pick the one that is the most relevant to you right now and go do that. Just one thing. Often we think we need to do more but we don’t if I said go do all 30 things now you wouldn’t do any of them!

Which one resonates with you now at this moment in your life? Leave a comment below.

I’m Diana and I am extremely passionate about helping others wake up to the reality that there is more to life. I believe we all have a purpose and by following our passions we can have the freedom we seek, live happier and more abundant lives. I help people like you to find personal freedom, by living your values and follow your passions so you can live a happier life and make a difference in the world. I am also the creator of The Personal Freedom Project.

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5 Things To Do Before You Decide Something

  By admin | May 10, 2013 - 12:03 am | , , , , ,
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how to make decisions

how to make decisions

Like it or not, you cannot prevent dilemmas from coming. They are always in your head. Who to recruit for this project? Which target to chase? Which training is best? When to jump to property investment? Where to go in this long week-end? And so on. It’s very normal, even when you are living in a remote area. You are facing so many options out there, which are waiting for you to choose, usually within specific time limit. This is not an easy part of life. There is always a risk know whether your decision would lead you to a better or worst situation.

However, there are things to do before in order to minimize the risk of getting the wrong decision. That’s what I want to share here, my friends. Next time you encounter your dilemma, I suggest you to:

1. Figure out the pros and cons

Measure each option by looking at the advantages and disadvantages. Check your assumptions. Be skeptical. Is it really useful to build entertainment room in your office? Will the employees be happy? Or will they be more unproductive because of that distraction? Will they be more loyal to your company? Will they be more willing to do some overtime works? Or will you only have to pay the electricity higher? Use your left brain to analyze.

2. Zoom in, zoom out

You have to collect and dig more information as deep as you can, then get it as wide as you can. Ask the 5W + 1H. What is your problem? Who are the stakeholders? When did this happen? Where will this lead? Why do you stuck in such situation? How to get out? Then, zoom out to get objective view. I give you an example why zoom out is important as well. One day, you see your idol in the same restaurant where you take a lunch. What would you do? Come close and say hi? You may think twice, because you feel impolite and it could annoy her. Ok stop, let’s switch now. What if it is your pal who meets his idol and you are right next to him. I’m pretty sure you would easily say, “Come on, don’t be a chicken! Go there and make a conversation with her.” Wouldn’t you? See, wider view makes different decision. So, always think as you are not you.

3. Search other paths

If the question is “go to the party to please your sweetheart” or “keep working in the office to get jobs done”, maybe it is hard for you choose which one. Why don’t you go to the party for a while, and soon after that you get back to the office? Or else, why don’t you finish your work as fast as possible and come to the party although it would be little bit too late? Avoid see things in black and white, dear friends. The suited solutions are often in gray scale.

4. Find someone who have solved the dilemma

Let’s say you don’t feel comfortable in the office because your boss and everybody else seem to underestimate your leadership. You are floating between stay to work with them or find another workplace. How do you come to a decision? Just ask your friends who has been there. Or if you don’t have any friend with the same bad experience, you don’t have to worry. This is Internet era, everything is easier now. You can even ask to someone whom you never met before through Facebook, Twitter or Google+. Or you can simply browse in search engines about your problem. You’ll get a lot of feedbacks from it.

5. Finally, you could be wrong, so what?

Now that you have decided, it’s time to get confidence. There are no guarantees about your decision. Never will. All you have to do is write down your A-B plan. If your choice is correct, what will you do in a year or two? If your decision is wrong, what will you do in a year or two? Usually, what will happen is between the extremely wrong and the extremely right. But the important thing is to get prepared for the worst, without expecting it to happen.

That’s all. I hope these tips will help you to make a decision a lot easier. Try it. Make your decision now, and get ready to face the consequence: good or bad. It may take you to a place of promise, or throw you up to a land of problems. Don’t regret whatever the outcome will be. Instead, learn from it to make a better decision in the future.

My name is Ramunsyah Utama and I am a Financial Planner for an insurance company in Jakarta, Indonesia. I can help you achieve your dream in life.

For further help, you may get a free copy of How to Make This Year the Year at:  www.icarecommends.info/how-to-make-this-year-the-year

 

 

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How to Make Learning as Easy as 1, 2, 3…

  By admin | May 9, 2013 - 12:00 am | , , , , ,
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easy learning

easy learning

Math.  It’s the universally dreaded word that almost everyone wishes to banish from their vocabulary.  In fact, it’s the one subject that never fails to make our brain cramp up the very moment we crack open our textbooks.

But are such classes as statistics and calculus really as horrible as some people may make them out to be?  Or do some of us just simply lack the command necessary for understanding, and enjoying, mathematics (or any subject for that matter)?

Well, here’s a little secret that I am going to let you in on: all of us are capable of learning.  We just aren’t always aware of our hidden, intellectual capabilities.  Now, how do you go about tackling a new subject, you may ask?   Here are several pieces of advice that will make learning simple and… yes, enjoyable.

1. Connect your subject to something interesting. 

We usually work at our best whenever we are interested in what we are doing.  Well, guess what?  The same thing applies to learning.  Chances are, you probably won’t memorize your entire history book unless you are truly engrossed in politics, historical events, and government issues.

So what do you do if your school forces you to take a boring, history class against your will?  Simple!  Just connect the subject to something that you do find interesting.     Make a little story about you and your friends set in a prehistoric time if you need to.  The crazier the narrative, the better!

2. Work with another partner/mentor. 

Stuck on how to work out a logarithmic equation?  Just search for a tutor, or better yet, find a friend who is mathematically gifted.  Oftentimes, all it takes to learn something new is to have another human being explain the concept to us in a clear and concise manner.  Just don’t get off track and start gossiping about who wore what yesterday.

3. Learn how you learn. 

Maybe you’re the type of person who likes to record history lectures and replay them while you brush your teeth.  Or perhaps, you enjoy color-coding your notes and drawing diagrams to illustrate the steps to a biological process.  However you prefer to learn, take advantage of it.

Of course, however, it’s always best to combine different ways of learning in order to maximize your knowledge.  Don’t just depend on visual cues as your single source of information.  Try acting out a historical event that you read in your book, or teach your two year old sibling quantum physics.

Whatever you do, make an attempt to engage the information in every possible way that you can.

4. Practice!  Practice!  Practice!

We all know that practice makes perfect.  Yet sometimes, all we want to do after a long, tedious homework assignment is to just lay down on our bed and take a nice two-hour nap.  No wonder why we tend to forget how to do the same exact type of problem the very next day!

After you complete your work, don’t close your book just yet!  No matter how tempted you are to take a break in front of the TV, you need to dig out at least fifteen more minutes to practice.

Find a similar problem or two, and try to work them out by yourself without peeking at the examples from your book.  After you’re done, have another person check it for you to see if you are on the right track.   Sometimes, all we need is a little practice before we can truly begin to understand what we are trying to learn.

5. Consult your resources!

We probably don’t know this, but there is a whole world of resources and practice problems out there that are just waiting for us to utilize them.  What’s even better is that a lot of these resources don’t even cost us a single buck.  So next time you are stuck on a problem, go on Google and try to find a better explanation.  Look for math worksheets that will allow you to practice your skills.

Need a concise study guide in addition to your bland textbook?  Trying ordering one online!  I bet you there is a book on every subject that you can possibly think of.

Okay, so maybe you’re not a direct descendent of Einstein.  So?  It doesn’t mean that you are not intelligent, or capable of acquiring a new skill.  With a little hard work and self-confidence (as well as some smart resources), you can pretty much just learn about anything out there that you put your mind to!

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